Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Deep Anger

I understand simple incompetence. It's pretty common and not really worth getting excited about. I understand mistakes. They happen, and everyone makes them--including me. I understand how things can not be thought through when things are being set up, and a system doesn't work in certain exceptional circumstances. No system is perfect...ask any programmer.

But what I'm witnessing in "Josie's" case angers me so deeply it's like a toothache in my mind. It just sits there eating away at my good humor, hurting, and driving me batshit. I want to give all involved the benefit of the doubt, but what I'm seeing, what I've been told, how I've been treated and other factors all point to the idea that there must be actual malice here.

"Josie's" school counsellor is furious (there'll definitely be more about her later...I don't think they want to ruffle her feathers--and I think if anyone can salvage this sorry mess she'll be the one to do it). "Vicki" has yet to see thirty and she seems very burnt out over the whole thing. Mom seems flabbergasted by how the whole thing is playing out, and I was under the impression she'd pretty much seen everything.

I can't even write anymore tonight. I have zero good humor right now, and it seems much more a chore than anything fun. I just put "Angel" down for the night, and when The Wife gets back from Bible study I think I just need to go for a walk and maybe listen to some music. It can't hurt and it might help.

There will probably be some late nights for awhile. I'm having a hard time handling this. This is definitely the icky part.


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