Other People's Kids

New Doings and Life Evaluation

Well, if history is any guide, I'll be feeling the need to blog more soon. For the last few months, we haven't really had a lot new going on. We've sort of been left "fallow", and have mostly been doing respite for various kids that we've had in the past, and (blessedly) it's been pretty fun but uneventful.

The new stuff: first off, "Tammy" has come to live with us for a few weeks. Apparently her family situation had improved and we have been doing respite for her once a month, but now apparently some very weird-and-not-to-be-gone-into-here stuff has gone on and she felt she had to bail out. We welcome her with open arms...she's probably the easiest and nicest kid we've experienced so far. Further...she has always had a terrible relationship with her dad and while not declaring it, seems now to have totally disowned him. She was talking to The Wife recently and mentioned to her that she had never really had a "dad", which was why she was glad she had us now because she had me as a dad. Whew. I gotta be doing SOMETHING right, I guess.

Next, we have a new demon-child coming to visit woe and destruction on our household. Pretty much all I know at this point is that she's a she, she's going to be showing up this week, she's 14 and she's (FINALLY!) an almost definite long-term placement. She's from farther upstate, so no local ties. More on that soon, I'm sure.

In addition, we have ANOTHER demon-child arriving imminently as well. This one is also a she, she's 12, and comes to us from far out of state. Apparently we're garnering a positive reputation in neighboring counties' family services, because this one was referred to us because we were specifically requested by name. Apparently she was living with her mom, basically on the street, and spent all her time socializing with the street people her mom hung out with. Lovely. I don't even know if she has people in this part of the world, but she also sounds long-term. Can't say I mind.

So...I'm preparing to live once again in a sort of estrogen soup, spiced with that certain touch of teen angst but tempered with the patience, calm and beauty of The Wife.

There have been several near-misses on the adoption front lately as well, but generally we seem to be getting more inquiries, which is good. All that would make our insanity complete is to have to go pick up a newborn while caring for three teen/preteen troubled girls.

As I type this, I am sitting at my good friend's computer in a secure, undisclosed location (Dick Cheney is right across the room having a latte). I'm on a 3-day weekend in the Twin Cities, and having a hard time believing it's been almost two years since I left this madness for the pastoral splendor of outstate Minnesota. It was a great move for me. My friend is pretty successful and just bought himself a 2007 Corvette (very sweet). He has a 50-inch HDTV and lots of other expensive toys, and he lives in a 'burb where he and every single visible neighbor impose military order on their lawns and shrubbery. I stepped outside on the street in my socks last night, and they got less dirty than they get when walking across our kitchen at home. I was duly asked with some concern if my car (sitting on the driveway) dripped any fluids (it doesn't yet to my knowledge).

I've known this man since he was a boy, and pretty much consider him the best friend I ever had outside The Wife. This life is exactly the kind of life I always figured would make him as happy as he is able to be. Yes, we were roommates for years. I nearly drove this guy out of his clean-obsessed mind, but it's good to live with someone whose tolerance for non-vacuumed carpets is lower than your own. I don't think I touched a vacuum for several years there.

I too (after much stupidity and trying everything else first) have discovered the kind of life that makes me as happy as I know how to be. It involves not mowing the lawn until it starts looking shaggy, maintaining a small menagerie that doesn't ever allow for a completely clean house, a yard surrounded by underbrush that vaguely segues into our lawn, and lots of kids around with messy problems to help with. I have several active household projects in various stages of completion--but to be fair to myself I proudly state that contrary to my earlier practices, project HAVE actually been getting completely done...eventually.

I don't have nearly the income I could have in my field, and while I have my share of toys I don't have anything like what many with my skills and experience have. But I do have my sobriety, my serenity, The Wife, a WONDERFUL, supportive family, an off-again-on-again supply of kids to love, a house in the country with lots of woods around, lakes to fish in and a complete acceptance and contentment with my lot in life.

Who's luckier than me?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go train myself on my friend's remote controls. He showed me last night but I've forgotten, and I very much need to watch his DVD of "Talladega Nights". Or maybe season 1 of "24". Sigh. So many wastes of time, so little...uh...time. Heh.

posted by Dan @ 7:36 AM