Other People's Kids

Tactical Bulletin

Sssshhhhh. Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. We'we gonna catch us a juveniwe dewinquent.

Okay, I've shaken off my earlier pseudo-depression, and The Wife has come through with a bit of fun. Her mother-radar has been twitching a lot tonight, and she thinks something is brewing. After reviewing various bits of evidence, I have to agree.

Exhibit 1: sure, teenage girls do their hair up pretty for no reason. They also do their hair if they plan on being seen by a boy...particularly one they like.

Exhibit 2: she's been sweet as pie tonight, and laid very, VERY low the whole evening. We haven't let on that we noticed, but oh, BOY have we noticed. She thinks we're dumb and unobservant. This is good. We're freakin' COUNTING on this.

Exhibit 3: she went to bed and The Wife shut her door. This would cause her to have to make more noise if she stirs. She does NOT shut the door all the way most nights, and I would have expected her to open it at some point. I just checked, and this has not happened. Could be she was planning on making a call tonight with the phone described in exhibit 6?

Exhibit 5: the snotnose called tonight. Twice. She went in her room and shut the door to talk to him. I'm pretty sure she thinks we didn't notice. Bwahahahahaha!

Exhibit 6: "Josie" kept the phone in her room after talking to the snotnose. Snotnose. I like that. So he shall be called from this point forward in this venue, until such time as he exits the scene or stops being one.

Countermeasures in place and deployed.

Countermeasure 1: phones are already in the bedroom with The Wife. She went to bed maybe 45 minutes ago, notifying me that the phone "Josie" has in her room will most assuredly NOT ring after 10. Nor will she be calling anybody to tell them the coast is clear (which is good, because it isn't.) I can only assume the plug to the base has already been pulled.

Countermeasure 2: I shall be playing around on the computer for perhaps another half-hour and then make a point of treading heavily on my way back to our room, right by her door. I will tread somewhat less heavily 5 minutes (or less) later when I sneak back out. I haven't decided yet if I'm going on that walk I spoke of earlier, but it would be fun to walk up as she's getting into the car and ask her to accompany me back to the house so I can tuck her in better, since she seems to have shaken loose. At the least, I can loudly greet her when she walks into the living room on her way to the door and announce her new grounding.

Countermeasure 3: failing the above, The Wife took the precaution of making sure all Josie's outdoor shoes are in our room except for a pair of very uncomfortable boots. If she gets out, at least it won't be comfortable.

Countermeasure 4: I am about to tape pieces of dental floss across the bases of the doors before I go to bed, to be checked in the morning first thing when we get up, if we haven't been successful before them. If I go outside to wait awhile, I shall be carefully retaping the one on the door I use.

This girl has no idea who she's fooling with. We are motivated, people. This is fun.

Tune in for the after-action debriefing tomorrow night.

posted by Dan @ 8:20 PM