Sunday, January 29, 2006

Disillusionment

I knew it would happen. It's as predictable as the Vikings not winning the Superbowl. And yet, somehow, like the Vikings not winning the Superbowl, it hurts, frustrates, and even shocks a little.

It wouldn't even be that bad except that as you can probably tell, I've gotten pretty attached to "Josie" already, and I guess I was rooting for a grand slam on the first swing of our first at-bat. Alas, it's not to be. The extent of the untruths she's perpetrated on us is somewhat greater than we had originally thought.

We've had some feelers out the last couple of days to see what we could dig up, plus we did a little sleuthing of our own, and it turns out she's more sexually active than we'd hoped, plus she's basically just plain lying to us on occasions when we didn't realize it. Now comes the tough part. How to play it.

That all depends on how she feels about us, and that's a little tough to gauge at this point. If I knew she was getting attached to us, I would go with the straight-up, honest, I'm-hurt approach. That can be very effective at shaming a kid into compliance. But I don't know that she's there yet. If not, then we might just confront her with a "we're not hurt, but we know what you did and we're not going to take it" thing. Or, for dramatic effect, we could wait for her upcoming roundtable update and unveil some or all of our knowledge there in front of her, her mother and her social workers, and angle for an outright ban from her PO and the social workers on seeing her old friends at all. The shock value there would be incredible, and she would really be wondering what our sources were.

That last would be harsh, but on the other hand as The Wife commented when we were discussing it today, in some ways it may have been better for her not to be placed locally, just to get her out of the grip of her friends. Some of them are completely okay, and "Josie" is definitely okay on her own or with the right people, but she's VERY susceptible to peer pressure, and she seems to have a problem with the muscles that keep her legs together when she's within a certain radius of her boyfriend. Oh, did I mention he's going steady with someone else?

Can anybody tell me what punishment God would give to somebody that arranged for a girl to find out her boyfriend is cheating on her? Because while I know my place is to stay out of it, I have that option in my grasp right now, and oh BOY is it tempting. Do you think He'd damn me to hell for all eternity, or would that be more of a 10-years-in-purgatory sort of infraction?

You see, the little bas***d called our house at 3am this morning. That's what launched our little crusade, and my desire for his humiliating and final downfall. No more. "Josie" isn't yet aware that we're going to be collecting the cell phone and the one cordless handset onto our end tables when we go to bed, and the handset she's been sneaking, well, the base is by our bed and it just won't be plugged in. Funny how that works. Yep, Mr. boyfriend is going to be hearing a male voice the next time he calls in the middle of the night, and that voice is going to be saying "okay, who's calling in the middle of the night, please?". I love this stuff. But how far should I take it?

Better not to take a chance on direct involvement, I suppose...it could probably boomerang on me or "Josie" too easily. He'll get what's coming to him one way or another, as cheaters and scumbags always do. Best if it's not by my hand. At least directly.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's bedtime, and I must collect phones. Heh.

6 Comments:

At 5:54 AM , Blogger Beth said...

Hi Dan,
I don't have any advice on the boyfriend thing...but I have a word of encouragement. In my case I have noticed that every kid placed with us feels happier and safer once they have pissed us off. Remember when you said that "Josie" was happy being grounded? She is going to be even happier when she gets the message "I am mad as hell (REALLY) and we are keeping you." I have learned to say (well, yell), "I am pissed. And you are loved and safe. And don't even try talking to me for the next hour because I FEEL like throwing something. Now go to your room and remember that I am FURIOUS and you are safe here!!"

I have written a lot about this in my blog.

 
At 5:55 AM , Blogger Beth said...

And oh yes...remember that disillusionment is not a bad thing. I means that you have been released from your illusions.

 
At 7:26 AM , Anonymous Auntie J said...

We all knew the other shoe would eventally drop..im afraid to say thou that i sorta had a feeling she was more active than you can ever imagine..Hang in there and dont let the little turd rile you up too much...change tatics and introduce her to some other younger men she might like..

 
At 8:50 AM , Anonymous christian said...

I'm ready o gear up recrut some buddies and head on down to give the boyfriend a littel scare,give him what he deserves. Nothing much a gag here a chain there maybe well you get the idea... I know I know I can't do that but it would be fun to think about anyhow

 
At 10:38 AM , Blogger Wes Wright said...

My partner once told me "every foster child lies." I have come to believe this is true in my experience.

It must be some type of protection mechanism for them depending on the life they come out of.

If it was me and you could get away with turning off the phones at night I would do that and then tell family and friend's to call you on your cell phone in the event of an emergency

 
At 4:43 PM , Blogger Dan said...

" And oh yes...remember that disillusionment is not a bad thing. I means that you have been released from your illusions."

Yeah, but it was a pretty illusion. Heh.

"change tatics and introduce her to some other younger men she might like"

Already done. Comments are favorable, but she hasn't gone for the bait yet.

"My partner once told me "every foster child lies." I have come to believe this is true in my experience."

Oh, lord, yes, they all lie to a greater or lesser degree. Like I said in the post, it was so predictable, and I knew with certainty it would happen. It's just still such a letdown...sigh. I was used to this at one point. I need to get used to it again, I guess.

 

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