Monday, October 02, 2006

Meeting on "Tammy"

We had a staffing meeting today regarding "Tammy". She was originally scheduled to be with us only about 30 days or so...but her family has been, shall we say, "not enthusiatic" about making the changes necessary to support her in her efforts to break from longstanding family tradition and become an actual human.

Okay...that's unnecessarily unkind. Still, they've been dragging their feet, and The Powers That Be have actually noticed not only this, but the fact that she is, in the words of her teacher, her counselor, her caseworker and others, "blossoming" since she was placed with us.

Well, duh. She doesn't have to deal with screaming adults AND kids all day and all night. Somebody actually makes her go to bed at a decent hour. She sits down to a good meal each evening and has decent food to eat. She has two adults in the house who honestly make an effort to know what's going on in her life.

That's pretty much all there is to parenting folks. Right there. Oh, it's not as easy as it sounds...but it is that simple, and don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise.

I almost cried today when she told the whole group that one thing she liked best about living with us was that she had a good mother figure. And I'm glad The Wife was there to hear it, too. She's the greatest, and she doesn't hear it near enough.

Anyway, it sounds like "Tammy" will be with us at least a little while longer while her family gets it together, and it sounds like if they don't start making the effort pronto then the court will be petitioned for an order to make it so.

Reading between the lines, that sounds to me like she could be with us a LOT longer. On the order of 6 months or more...but she misses her family and I don't have the heart to tell her that that's what it sounds like to me. Plus, I may be wrong.

But having her here is just fine with me. She's been no trouble at all...and her history of cutting has not been continued since she's been here. We've been keeping an eye on her hands and arms, and they're pretty much clear, and just about healed up from a bout she had just before coming here.

One other thing about "Tammy"...I've discovered she likes poetry. Reading it and writing it. She's also a little on the shy side...but she has a nice voice. She's got a creative mind. She also has a little trouble making friends, though she's really pleasant to be around and seems to get along with most anybody, when she can break through her shyness.

I was in Declamation (or "Speech" or "Forensics" or whatever you want to call it) in high school and college, and I remember there being both a poetry interpretation division AND a "creative expression" division where you could write your own poetry and read it. I do believe if she is still here when the speech season starts--usually around late February if memory serves--I'm going to strong-arm her onto the team.

That would be PERFECT for her.


At 9:00 AM , Blogger FosterEema said...

One caution about cutting -- if kids start (or resume) doing it, they sometimes cut themselves in places that are concealed by clothing. (Thighs, abdomen, etc.) It seems like, if "Tammy" is doing well in your home, the impetus that drove her cutting behavior may be gone. Just be aware that, if it returns, she might choose less visible places to cut. Especially if she's worried about disappointing you.


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