Disappointment, but Life Goes On
The family of the girl I mentioned earlier called last night (I wasn't aware when I posted), and they've decided not to allow their daughter go go with "Josie" anywhere alone.I can't say I don't understand why they decided the way they did. My own sister, who grew up with this stuff, would probably decide the same way for her child (when he was a minor, that is). It's a point of view I don't entirely understand, but I accept it. It's a little harder coming from these particular people and knowing some background info that I do about them, but okay. We'll survive.
I do believe they made a mistake though. This is a family who took their daughter all the way to Africa, presumably to watch missionaries in action. How do you take your daughter to the other side of the Earth to see this sort of thing when she can participate in a very direct way in the same kind of work a couple of miles down the road?
I plan on talking to the father. We're on friendly terms and I won't press him...but I would like to know if the decision was made by him and his wife or by the girl. I mean, before I get my knickers in a twist I should really make sure that the whole thing isn't just because the girl doesn't like "Josie", right? Because if that's the case, I withdraw my objection entirely.
But if the parents stepped in because they didn't want their 16-year-old daughter to get "dirty", that's a whole other thing. I probably can't do any more in that situation than if it's the daughter's decision, but I can surely feel a whole lot different about things.
These are the kinds of things I brood about when I'm gardening, or working on a home-improvement project, or fishing. Sometimes even when I'm working and I have a lot of monotonous typing to do and my mind wanders. The reason I even started blogging is because things get my knickers in such a twist that I start to lose circulation.
Be glad you're not me. It's no fun getting all wound up about things you can't do anything about. For my part, I'm simply going on to the next possible avenue to help "Josie". I don't know what it is yet, but I'll know it when I see it.
The kid's doing very well, better than we'd hoped really, and we can't let up now.
Or ever. If we could, I'd guess we shouldn't be doing this.
posted by Dan @ 9:40 PM
2 Comments:
Glad I am not you? Want to trade problems? Just kidding.
Hey, usually I try to say things like, "in my experience this works..." but may I just give you some flat out advice? Of course you can flat out reject it.
As much as you disagree with their decision, it is theirs. Why don't you ask the father something like, "Is this really cover for your daughter's decision? If it is I will encourage "Josie" to move on. If it isn't, can you tell me what "Josie" needs to do to regain your trust? It's important to her and your daughter is such a positive influence on "Josie", I don't want her to loose that."
Want to feel better? "Evan's" codeine addiction is daily revealed to be worse than we thought the day before. He has now missed so many days that he has put May graduation into serious peril.
And, oh yeah, his drug-dealing boyfriend sent him tickets to come visit over Spring Break.
Well...your suggestion is basically what I plan to do. As for "Evan's" problems, yes, it's a bad thing...but it's coming from the KID, and the demons that haunt him. Fighting that stuff is what this is all about. One of the joyous surprises in "Josie" is that there don't appear to be any demons in evidence...at least nothing like what you're dealing with.
All she needs is more of the right example than she's gotten on her own and she's gonna be fine. There's absolutely no danger to anyone she hangs out with. I'd stake my own life on that. The worst challenge she'd present to kids she hangs out with would be MAYBE a temptation to walk down a wrong path.
No, my disappointment isn't with the kid, it's with certain elements in the community...notably the ones who style themselves very publicly as good Christians (and mostly I do believe they are) but don't seem to have certain Christian principles down-pat yet. I expect heartache from the kids. Until now, I didn't expect it from where we're getting it.
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