Wednesday, July 12, 2006

On Adoption

I've always thought adoption is a beautiful thing. You take a baby nobody wants who needs love and pair them up with (usually) two people who desperately want a baby to love. Suddenly where before you had three very unhappy people and no happy people, you suddenly have three very happy people and no unhappy people. What's not to like?

The vultures, that's who. You know the ones. The shyster lawyers who want thousands of dollars for filling out a few hours' paperwork. The shyster adoption agencies who charge you many more thousands for no reason we've been able to determine. legal fees, filing fees, miscellaneous fees and extraneous fees. Dad likes to gripe about a $.05 "Special tax" he sees every month on his phone bill. The final itemized bill for adoption would have THOUSANDS of those anonymous-looking fees. Death by a billion papercuts.

But nevermind all that. We're going in.

We're going to adopt a child. Why? Because we've realized that we quite simply have to. It's not optional for us. We love kids too much and we love each other even more, and we both see that the other needs this to be completely happy.

It has no bearing on our fostering, which we've grown very attached to and have no plans whatsoever of quitting. That would deny our future child the pleasure of seeing many people do many foolish and entertaining things throughout their early life. My parents gave that to me and I intend on passing that way of life on. It also has no bearing on whether we might ever adopt one of our foster kids. Of course we would under the right circumstances, and indeed we fully expect to at some point. An only child is a lonely child, right?

But we both do want one baby that we raised from infancy and who we can truly call our own in every sense except the biological.

"Josie" came to us a very messed up young lady. We're now dealing with the results of parental fecklessness (and I have to admit it's going pretty well, really). We just want one child where we can mess them up in our own unique, specific way and have nobody but ourselves to blame for the outcome. Whatever the case, we certainly won't be feckless. I guaran-freakin'-tee it.

That would be grand. Yes, it would. Gentlemen, start your checkbooks. The lawyers will be getting our scent soon.

5 Comments:

At 2:22 PM , Blogger Tamara said...

Oh joy! This is an exciting move indeed. I will be taking notes, as - if we ever hope to adopt again, it will not be through foster care. The wait is agonizing. Can't wait to hear about the lawyers...

 
At 5:38 AM , Anonymous Auntie J said...

So instead of gifts for the next year or more you would like cash to help pay the adoption bill? I could just see you guys treaking to africa or china...hehe..JK

 
At 10:57 PM , Blogger Jim Wright said...

On the flip side of this. One of our foster daughters (who has been with us over 2 years) has come up for adoption.

She has some serious emotional issues and no one in 2 years has addressed that (soiling, peeing the bed, temper tantrums that go on for hours, lying stealing) She is 11 functioning at 6 years old.

We have said we will keep her. If she gets adopted (she is a sweet kid) then great for her. We just dont want to make that great a commitment with her (she hasnt reached her teens yet)

I applaud you. We just cant yet

http://wefoster.blogspot.com

 
At 7:29 AM , Blogger Dawn said...

You said: "I've always thought adoption is a beautiful thing. You take a baby nobody wants who needs love and pair them up with (usually) two people who desperately want a baby to love. Suddenly where before you had three very unhappy people and no happy people, you suddenly have three very happy people and no unhappy people. What's not to like?

The vultures, that's who. You know the ones. The shyster lawyers who want thousands of dollars for filling out a few hours' paperwork. The shyster adoption agencies who charge you many more thousands for no reason we've been able to determine. legal fees, filing fees, miscellaneous fees and extraneous fees. Dad likes to gripe about a $.05 "Special tax" he sees every month on his phone bill. The final itemized bill for adoption would have THOUSANDS of those anonymous-looking fees. Death by a billion papercuts."

It's not QUITE like that. (From the myth of the unloved baby placed at birth -- can happen but not usually -- to the insane fees. A good & ethical agency will be absolutely upfront about cost and won't hit you with any surprise fees.) But much luck on your journey!

 
At 5:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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