Other People's Kids

Meltdown for "Tammy"

We had our share and support meeting tonight. When "Tammy" stayed with us this week, we noticed she was especially quiet and reserved, even for her. Now we understand a little more why.

Things have been going on in her life...things that we didn't know about. Nobody did outside her family, until she finally opened up in therapy and let her counselor know. I probably shouldn't get into details, except to say that it involves nastiness that was being done to her, and while her immediate family weren't the perps, at least a couple of them appear to have been aware that it was going on.

You see, "Tammy" is now sitting in detention for assaulting a police officer. The officer tried to push her to do something she really didn't want to do. "Tammy" is normally completely docile with us, but I've sensed a harder edge to her under the surface, and I studiously avoid it. It works out well. She loves us and we love her, and we can try to avoid the bad spots. That's what friends and family do. The cop apparently wasn't interested in being tuned into her mood, so he got punched, kicked and from what i hear pretty badly scratched for his trouble.

What she did was completely wrong, and I'd bet my computer she knows it very well. There's no excuse for what she did, and detention isn't the worst thing I can think of. That said, this girl needs help more than punishment. Her family is one of those hopeless ones, and while she loves her mother very much and her mother loves her, I don't think there's another member of that family she would really miss if she left for good.

I wish she could come here, full time, until she ages out. I could and almost do really love this girl like a daughter, and I know damn well that there would NEVER be any more nastiness in her life like she's had to live with. Not in a million years.

In the time since she's been with us off and on, we've heard comments about how people can tell when she's been with us awhile because she just seems to blossom after she's been at our house. I tell them that's her natural state. She just needs a little TLC and she becomes this whole, beautiful person. Then they make her go home and she withdraws again, her hair gets stringy, she doesn't bathe and she gets really apathetic and sleeps most of the time.

Sigh.

Labels: "Tammy"

posted by Dan @ 10:04 PM