Sunday, March 19, 2006

The "L" Word

Yes, that's right, I came across with it to "Josie" tonight. I was taking her home from her church youth group when it struck me: what the hell am I waiting for?

The girl may well be out of our home and out of our lives in two days. She says she'll be back to visit if that happens, but I've heard that song and dance before, too. She hasn't heard a lot of sober adults tell her they love her.

So I made a little speech while driving her home, which went something like: "I wanted to make sure you know how much we've enjoyed having you live with us, Josie. I love you. I wish you were my daughter...and I don't think you've heard that kind of thing as much as you should, and not nearly as much as you deserve."

To which she replied that no, she hadn't heard much of that from people who were sober. She had just gotten off the phone this afternoon with a drunk (her mom? one of her friends? her mom's boyfriend? does it matter?) who swore their undying love and/or friendship. Drunks are like that. I was like that a lot when I used to drink. I know in a deep and personal way how stupid drunk people can be and how worthless their declarations of fealty and proclamations of love and everlasting friendship are.

She didn't have much else to say on the subject, and I'm not sure whether it hit her as deeply as I had hoped...but I feel better now. I got it out, at least.

And the best part: every word I said to her was completely true. She's an aggravating, self-centered, manipulating little twerp. And I love her.


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