Saturday, November 03, 2007

Gender Archaeology

I'm now reporting to you deep from within the normally female-only ritual known as the "baby shower". I had originally retreated to the basement to wait out the storm, but curiosity overwhelmed my better sense and I went upstairs to see what could be seen. Strangely enough, the participants did not scratch my eyes out or condemn me as an outsider, so I've stayed to see if MANkind could gain knowledge by my intrepid exploration.

The first thing I note is that this all seems very much like a birthday party, complete with cake (candle-free bars actually, but whatever), other goodies, a pile of presents and an arrangement of chairs in a circle filled with clucking hens gabbing ladies. The presents have actually been opened at this point, and they're pretty dang boring by my standards.

How can an event involving presents be fun if it's all baby stuff? A relief, perhaps, to a young father whose wife is the guest of honor. It's that much less stuff you'll have to fork over perfectly good cash for, and young fathers in their early 20s or whatever would have to be tickled about the thing.

Not me. I'd rather people just bought us a subscription to Sunday NFL Ticket, or maybe buy us a boat. But then, I don't think that's the price range we're talking about here, so whatever.

The natives here seem much friendlier than I had supposed they would be toward an interloper such as myself. They almost seem to like the fact that I showed up. Hmmm. You know, it just might be that the only reason no man has ever set foot in a baby shower is because, from a man's point of view, it's just really boring.

Interesting thought. I'll have to develop that one further...but for now I have to take advantage of my status as welcome male in an almost exclusively female setting to go back to the table and get some more cheese and crackers. Mmmmm. Cheese and crackers.

I think I'm becoming more metrosexual by the minute. If you don't hear from me in the next few days, please send rescuers in a pickup with beer, cigars and other manly stuff to save me.


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