Sunday, November 11, 2007

Trouble in Paradise

It was just one of those days. "Celeste" was being a pill almost the entire day. She was disturbed that we had web sites on "alternative sexuality" blocked. I believe I've mentioned that she's very adamantly in the face of everybody she knows for more than 5 minutes that she's bisexual. We feel that at 13, nobody should be much of anything sexual. What ever happened to sneaking a kiss in a private place when nobody is looking? Today, kids at 13 are trying to swing 10-year-olds over to their view of sexuality. Call me a prude if you must, but this is all just wrong.

I mean, at 13 I hadn't even had my first real kiss. Sure, I was a dork and it wasn't for lack of me wanting to, but at the same time I distinctly remember that the first time I ever really considered the real possibility of having sex, I was 16 or 17. "Celeste" is 13, and probably has more experience than I do. Not only do we need to dial that back, but we need to get her to focus on other more important aspects of life. Indulging her sexual urges is NOT the way for her to start feeling better about herself, or for her to learn how to reconcile with her family, or for her to start learning how to live as an actual adult. At this point in her life, I'd say having sex (of any kind) ranks somewhere between freebasing drain cleaner and seeing what happens when she lights her hair on fire.

So am I apologetic about stealing sources of sexual inspiration from her? No freaking way. Oh, she tries to guilt me into it by pointing out that I get to use the internet whenever I want. I usually counter that I also use the internet mostly to write, read blogs/news or to feed my admittedly sad and pathetic fantasy football addiction, and most emphatically not to visit vampirefreaks.com or sexwithcamelsandothermiscellaneousmammals.com. Okay, I made the latter one up, but the former is actually a site she likes to visit. Sigh.

Then, Sophie decided she'd had enough of my parents' cat. And she meant it. So we have crap in our tub, crap and pee on various carpets (they've all been picked up now to avoid her wrath), plus The Wife has scratches, several deep ones, on her arms. Luckily, Mom & Dad are back now and will be picking him up soon. Hopefully things will be a little saner when they go again this winter...or poor Sammy may end up locked in the downstairs bedroom to save our cats' sanity.

Speaking of The Wife, she also has a pretty important interview in the morning for a job she really, really wants, so if you could send prayers and good thoughts her way, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. She's a little nervous about taking a job since it may limit future options in fostering (we've gotten a couple of placements specifically because she was a stay-at-home mom), but to me that's letting the tail wag the dog. First priority should be doing things that make her happy and fulfilled. Second should be doing what she (and I) can to help these kids. Otherwise, she'd just burn out or feel like she was in prison. That's no way to live. So go wife!! Knock 'em dead!

Hopefully they'll offer her six figures so I can retire and spend my days fishing.

Hey, a guy can dream, right?

3 Comments:

At 6:48 AM , Blogger Yondalla said...

First, I support and largely agree with your attitude on sexual activity and 13 year olds.

If you want to get her something to read that is not "sexually inspiring" but that talks about sexuality and may answer questions about what it means to be bi and how to cope with it, shoot me an email. There are some good materials out there that are appropriate for kids of different ages. There's one I even recommend for 9 year olds.

Have I said recently that I admire you for taking teen girls? They are not easy.

And one more thing. You might have reminded us early on that Sophie is a CAT. I was imagining a teenage human doing the elimination of scratching!

 
At 6:49 AM , Blogger Yondalla said...

um..that would be "elimination AND scratching."

Elimination OF scratching would be a lot better, huh?

 
At 10:10 AM , Anonymous Lee said...

I also thought Sophie was a person at first. :-)

I just looked at the front page of vampire freaks and yeah, I think it's more for people my age (late teen's, early twenties). Not for a thirteen year old.

I personally think she can identify as a certian sexual orientation and be mildly curious about sex at her age, even though she shouldn't be having sex with anybody, IMHO.

 

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