Child Rodeo
Just when we had gotten comfortable with just "Jenny" around and my attention had gotten comfortably divided between work, basement and single child, along comes one of those not-unheard-of events in fostering to explode our world, if only temporarily.Last night we received three new additions to our family in the form of a sibling-group emergency placement. I don't yet know the circumstances surrounding the reasons for waking up this morning with extra responsibilities and I'm not sure how long they'll be here. Therefore, I won't bother coming up with aliases just yet...I'll just say that they're a sibling group composed of two girls of 16 and 14 and a boy of 7.
Last night they seemed very subdued. I always like them the first few days. That's the honeymoon period, after all. There is always a period as short as a day or two and as long as a month or two before they run up their true flag(s) and go to war with you. Right now they're in the condition that melt people's hearts and make people wonder why we get paid for this. If they were to stay here a month, they'd likely revert to their true selves...the condition that make people feel we're saints for doing this.
The girls are both very pretty, and very obviously sisters. The boy instantly put me in mind of Harry Potter, complete with glasses. They came with very little, and we have no idea how much they would have had with them if they had had the chance to bring it, but the social worker that brought them made encouraging noises about an imminent shopping trip.
The Wife is under the impression that I make the best popcorn in the history of the culinary arts, so she detailed me to make popcorn while she mixed up the perfect batch of colored flavor-water and we all sat down to get used to each other in front of a babbling TV that nobody seemed to pay much attention to.
The kids seemed to be a little in shock. The oldest girl is an acquaintence of "Josie's" and is originally from the same town, though this family moved to a nearby town recently. She had previously been in foster care for whatever reasons, but the other two were still at home and she apparently didn't do well because she was worried that her sister and brother weren't getting the proper care. Sigh. She's probably had to grow up too fast. That has good side effects sometimes, but mostly I think it changes a kid in ways that are less facile. I hope she's able to relax a little for whatever time she's here...I'd like to at least be able to give her that much.
Now if you'll excuse me, the people demand breakfast, and The Wife probably wouldn't mind a hand with whatever needs doing. Then I think I shall retreat to the basement to polyurethane a lot of newly stained wood, tape and goop seams in the sheetrock, and probably see if I can make the newly legal bedroom down there a little more conducive to human habitation.
Who knows? Depending on the situation behind these kids, that room may be needed sooner than we imagined. And being the dad around here, I guess it falls to me to do stuff like that.
Plus...maybe the boy will come down and watch like I used to do sometimes when Dad was doing stuff like that. Then maybe I can squeeze information out of him. Heh.
Holy crap. Mom and Dad just walked in the door. The Wife's comment upon hearing them on the stairs: "Oh, I forgot to tell you Mom and Dad were coming." Sigh. Guess there's more to do than I thought.
Later.
posted by Dan @ 7:05 AM
5 Comments:
Well, congratulations. I shall wait anxiously for the rest of the story.
sounds like you have your hands full!!! Yup- you better get that basement finished - pronto! Have fun! ;)
Quote: "I always like them the first few days. That's the honeymoon period, after all. There is always a period as short as a day or two and as long as a month or two before they run up their true flag(s) and go to war with you. Right now they're in the condition that melt people's hearts and make people wonder why we get paid for this. If they were to stay here a month, they'd likely revert to their true selves...the condition that make people feel we're saints for doing this."
Sorry, we think it's the MONEY. Especially after reading THAT.
Quote: "The kids seemed to be a little in shock..."
OK, you've GOT to be kidding!
These children that you seem to truly despise so were recently ripped away from their (more than likely depending on what state you're in) LOVING parent's arms in tears. Of COURSE their in shock! You would be, too.
As a product of the "foster care system," PUT OUT on my 18th birthday, I can assure you, you are doing NO ONE a favor in our eyes looking back.
But not to worry, from the sound of things, you have PLENTY of State and Federal funds from taking these little SH**S in to finish that basement, and probably the car payments and so forth.
Me? I got nada, and they won't even tell me where my mom is now that I am an adult. My "best interest" would have been to continue being raised by my PARENTS and for the State to tay out of something they cannot ever possibly understand, regulate or legislate- Love and the parental BOND.
They left that out of ASFA. But NOT the $$$
"Sorry, we think it's the MONEY. Especially after reading THAT."
Sorry to hear that. You'd definitely change your mind if you saw our "reimbursement" checks and had a chance to compare that to what this is costing us.
"LOVING parent's arms in tears. Of COURSE their in shock! You would be, too."
Would that be the "loving" parent that prefers their boyfriend to their child, or the one that bought his child and her friend alcohol and groped her friend in front of her? Seriously, think what you're saying. I give these parents the benefit of the doubt until I have pretty good evidence (usually from my own eyes) not to. You could try doing the same for those who will be sued if they don't intervene in this kind of thing.
"PUT OUT on my 18th birthday, I can assure you, you are doing NO ONE a favor in our eyes looking back."
You wish they had just not ever given you a roof over your head? My parents quit fostering years ago, and they're still helping out one of their kids, now in her 20s and with her own child and no clue how to manage her life. A 43-year-old woman calls my mother Mom and loves her like one to this day. My Christmas shopping list is already insane, and I've only been doing this a year. Some foster parents look at this as a financial arrangement (or as doing a service to the community). I look at it as a way to expand my family, since I can't have kids.
"But not to worry, from the sound of things, you have PLENTY of State and Federal funds from taking these little SH**S in to finish that basement, and probably the car payments and so forth."
I cashed out one of my retirement accounts and took a 10% IRS hit on it to finish the basement so that we could have one more bedroom and a rec room for the kids. We're losing money on the fostering at the moment. Thanks for caring, though. And yes, sometimes they're little sh**s. Given their circumstances, that's not surprising, and we do cut them extra slack for that.
"Me? I got nada, and they won't even tell me where my mom is now that I am an adult. My "best interest" would have been to continue being raised by my PARENTS and for the State to tay out of something they cannot ever possibly understand, regulate or legislate- Love and the parental BOND.
They left that out of ASFA. But NOT the $$$"
I can't comment on your particular situation since I know nothing about it, but please disabuse yourself of the notion that money has much of anything to do with this, at least in our case. Overall I figure I'm several thousand in the hole over one year. My fond hope is that it balances out so we stop losing money.
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